The Boras Does Not Allow You To Audit

Dodgers general manager Ned Colletti said in recent days that Los Angeles would have considered Varitek, but “we didn’t spend much time on it when we learned it wouldn’t be a crash course, it would be a degree program.”

More cuffs off a swiped crib sheet from Boras101 after the jump.

“When a major league team approaches you about a player and offers them a contract, I guess that’s serious,” he said. “I think that Tek has always been a person”

— What? Tek is a person? Seriously?

he’s the captain of a team in the major leagues, which is a rare event.

— And now an historical event in Jason’s career, it appears.

And certainly, Boston has let us know, ‘We want him back.’

— They want him back, but not for what I promised I could get him. Someone else besides Theo, call, please, so it’s not just me talking and so I can tell Tek I didn’t just torpedo his chance to play for an early favorite for the 2009 ring.

“We’re talking about it, but we also have to go out and look into other situations that might be [available] to him.”

— Do you still have my number? Anyone?

“We’re in contact with Scott about Jason. That’s accurate.” – Epstein

— Theo Epstein is truly, frequently brilliant.

“I’m not going to talk about values but, obviously, Jason Varitek is a guy that I think teams know what his value is,” Boras said. “I think it’s clear he’s going to be employed and do very well.”

— I’m not a smart man, but I know what VALUE is, Jenny.

Though it would almost certainly have guaranteed him more than his $10 million 2008 salary – since players almost always get a raise in arbitration – Boras said he never considered accepting the offer, which means any team that signs the Type A free agent must give up a first-round pick.

— “How much money did you just cost me?” asked Tek.

“The catching market is probably the hardest one to predict, particularly for journalists,” Boras said. “Because the fact is teams that have existing catchers don’t come out and say that they’re unhappy with their catchers because they can’t find better catchers.

— What?

“So until they know they can acquire a catcher, they often don’t let you know that there’s an opening.”

— I mean, What The F****** F***??!

10 comments… add one
  • Nice breakdown; Fire Joe Morgan-esque, but with more vitriol and fewer numbers. If Tek gets less this year than arbitration would have, which is looking awfully likely, it sure will be delightful.

    Hit Dog December 11, 2008, 1:35 pm
  • > Fire Joe Morgan-esque, but with more vitriol and fewer numbers.
    And not as funny.
    Of course the Sox should say, “no, thank you.” However, I feel bad for Tek. Ick.

    attackgerbil December 11, 2008, 1:41 pm
  • I swear to god Boras drugs his clients.

    LocklandSF December 11, 2008, 2:16 pm
  • Sometimes, that dude is funny:
    Rome said that Colletti said the following when hearing of “several teams being interested in Manny Ramirez” from agent Scott Boras : ” that’s good news – I hate to see a guy out of work”.

    Brad December 11, 2008, 2:53 pm
  • Sorry, that’s confusing up on reading it, so it should read:
    Rome quoted Colletti as saying…

    Brad December 11, 2008, 2:56 pm
  • I would love it if Tek goes back to Boston for less than he would have gotten in arbitration and Manny gets US$ 20 million a year for only two years. It would simply show that Boras’ manipulations are a fraud.

    moctavio December 11, 2008, 8:54 pm
  • Manny’s agent is Boras as well, Moctavio; Any win or losses in the markey would cancel each other. The only way this works is for neither to get the scratch, which is more than fine by me.

    Brad December 11, 2008, 9:45 pm
  • In a perfect world, Manny will get 13 per to play in LA, in which case I figure he’ll just take a year off to save face, and Varitek forgets where Boston is.

    Brad December 11, 2008, 9:48 pm
  • Holy crap… Manny is threatening to retire if he doesn’t receive an offer soon. Crazy. What happened to “playing until I’m 48 like Julio Franco”?

    Atheose December 12, 2008, 7:21 am
  • Manny isn’t retiring. 600 HRs and 3000 hits say so.
    Some team (Dodgers or Yanks) will pay him $20 million for three years. Boras will say he came out ahead of what he would have gotten with the Sox.

    Dave SF December 12, 2008, 7:47 am

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