The Official YFSF Record Book Annotation System

We can no longer avoid the clarion call: The American People—even the liberal New York Times, dammit—demand typographic action. Baseball’s record books shall be besmirched no more. Or rather, the achievements therein shall be properly labeled. An asterisk for steroids. Yes. Of course. But how can that single dingbat suffice to explain away more than a century of exploitation, chicanery, and all-around evil doing? Fear not, fans of our Great Pastime, YFSF is here to supply you with a comprehensive system of annotation to illuminate the skeletal closets of the national game. Henceforth:

* = Steroids
! = Amphetamines
$ = Gambling
|| = Cocaine
~ = Alcohol
≤ = Before integration
# = Before expansion
. = Dead ball era
∞ = Wore glasses
† = Crazy religious freak
¢ = Lousy tipper
ƒ = Womanizer
¥ = Asian fetish
œ = Funny accent
√ = Ass kisser
∆ = Trianglophobic
X = General douchebag

58 comments… add one
  • brilliant!

    Nick-YF December 14, 2007, 3:47 pm
  • from now on when people tell me about how asterisks should be used I’ll refer them to this post. This is the best argument I’ve ever seen against it.

    Nick-YF December 14, 2007, 3:52 pm
  • What about Ritalin on a college paper?

    Mike YF December 14, 2007, 4:00 pm
  • That would be an “A-”

    Nick-YF December 14, 2007, 4:01 pm
  • This is just about my favorite post ever.

    attackgerbil December 14, 2007, 4:07 pm
  • Ralizing this is a HUMOR thread I don’t intend to go far with this, but does no one else see a distinction between illegal performance enhancing actions and say, alcohol, coke, deadballs, lack of minority players, etc., etc.
    I am not a big asterisk fan, but I don’t think all infractions and ethical lapses are equally relevant to on-field performance so I am also not convinced that all asterisks are a bad idea.

    IronHorse (yf) December 14, 2007, 4:09 pm
  • Funny, that’s what I got!

    Mike YF December 14, 2007, 4:09 pm
  • Should have signed my comment
    attackgerbil~X⇑ (drunk douchebag chronic masturbator)

    attackgerbil December 14, 2007, 4:10 pm
  • Total genius!!!

    SF December 14, 2007, 4:10 pm
  • IH – I don’t disagree that intentionally taking PEDs is different than just happening to live during the dead ball era or a time of segregation. But how do you decide who to asterisk for steroids? Do you rely on a failed drug test? The whole point of places like Balco was to keep creating drugs that wouldn’t be detected in a test — HGH still isn’t. Player admission? The testimony of someone who saw a player inject himself?

    soxgirl December 14, 2007, 4:17 pm
  • “This is just about my favorite post ever.”
    I agree.

    Nick-YF December 14, 2007, 4:19 pm
  • I like how the symbols are indicative of the actual infraction (or caveat), I didn’t notice this until the cross.
    Either that’s subtle humor or I’m an idiot. Please reserve your judgments.

    Paul SF December 14, 2007, 4:22 pm
  • ⇑ = chronic masturbator
    Well played AG, well played. Funny stuff all around, but that one really got me.

    LocklandSF December 14, 2007, 4:32 pm
  • “Please reserve your judgments.”
    Damn, Paul, you always spoil the fun!
    signed The Sheriff ~~~$X

    The Sheriff (Andrews) December 14, 2007, 4:37 pm
  • It’s been said already, but…wow, this post is, like, pretty much the best thing ever.

    Devine December 14, 2007, 4:39 pm
  • personally I find cocaine and ass-kisser the most clever symbols.

    Nick-YF December 14, 2007, 4:41 pm
  • shouldn’t Manny Ramirez get the “?”, just on principle?

    SF December 14, 2007, 4:55 pm
  • Ha ha ha ha! This made me laugh out loud. I especially appreciate Asian fetish and General Douchebag.

    Beth December 14, 2007, 4:57 pm
  • Trianglophobic?
    -YM (~∞X)

    yankeemonkey December 14, 2007, 5:05 pm
  • I’m actually so much more than an alcoholic, gambling, douchebag, but my keyboard doesn’t have all those cool characters…

    The Sheriff (Andrews) December 14, 2007, 5:07 pm
  • Copy-paste, Andrews…copy-paste.

    yankeemonkey December 14, 2007, 5:12 pm
  • ; Tee-Ball Era

    FenSheaParkway December 14, 2007, 5:13 pm
  • Awesome post. Hours of fun for the whole family.

    FenSheaParkway December 14, 2007, 5:14 pm
  • I’m fond of ! = Amphetamines, myself.

    Devine December 14, 2007, 5:19 pm
  • I’m afraid I don’t understand the check mark for ass-kisser. Otherwise, brilliant.

    AndrewYF December 14, 2007, 5:32 pm
  • You know, with all the hoopla about the Mitchell report, we’ve neglected to discuss one major development in MLB in recent days…
    David Eckstein has signed with the Blue Jays! Truly, now they are locks for a championship, no? Or is Lyle Overbay gone?

    yankeemonkey December 14, 2007, 5:34 pm
  • Andrews… unicode is your friend.
    And since I never know when enough is enough..
    ½ = plucky second baseman
    Ø = moron
    Ǿ = moron who wears their hat crooked
    Ç = stupid goatee
    Ɣ = gaudy neckchain sporter
    ɷ = man boobs
    ʘ = ahole
    and …drumroll ….
    Ƣ = vi agra spokesman

    attackgerbil December 14, 2007, 5:54 pm
  • Hi-larious, YF and AG
    -Paul, ÇØ∞
    Hey, that kind of looks like a gun in Courier font. Or maybe more like a Super-Soaker. Cool.

    Paul SF December 14, 2007, 6:03 pm
  • Stupid goatee kills.

    YF December 14, 2007, 6:06 pm
  • You had me at plucky second baseman…

    yankeemonkey December 14, 2007, 6:08 pm
  • Thanks, gerb
    Have you guys heard that ~ + || + ! = . ?

    The Sheriff (Andrews) December 14, 2007, 6:16 pm
  • Andrews, that is really, really funny.

    attackgerbil December 14, 2007, 6:23 pm
  • I think “asian fetish” is my favorite .. Yen works twice in context.

    attackgerbil December 14, 2007, 7:28 pm
  • Nick’s right about cocaine… funnier and funnier the more I look at it.

    attackgerbil December 14, 2007, 7:46 pm
  • Yen works more than two ways, Gerb. There’s a, uh, geometric thing happening too.

    SF December 14, 2007, 8:25 pm
  • Long time lurker, infrequent contributer but this one was just too much fun, here’s my two cents
    Þ = beer gut
    Њ = HGH
    μ = little leaguer
    λ = curtain caller
    ⌂ = homer
    David Wells Þ~X

    Honkball December 14, 2007, 9:25 pm
  • > geometric
    H A !
    (couldn’t put the letters together… he hate me spam filter)

    attackgerbil December 14, 2007, 9:29 pm
  • Honk, that’s awesome, especially micro and lambda.

    attackgerbil December 14, 2007, 9:31 pm
  • Dan Haren to the Diamondbacks for six minor leaguers.
    Hank on the horn to Smith? ;-)

    SF December 14, 2007, 9:49 pm
  • Two more:
    Ò = Spitballer
    π = Overeater

    YF December 15, 2007, 11:44 am
  • Selig gets an ‘X’!

    Eric Goebelbecker December 15, 2007, 8:55 pm
  • Hey I just staggered into this site for the first time tonight. I’m a Cleveland fan so guess it is appropriate this year for me to butt into the middle of you guys!
    I did a post yesterday you might like. It’s about how in the early days of baseball cigarettes were the drug of choice.
    The annotation should be:
    0- = smoker

    Cranky Guy December 15, 2007, 10:32 pm
  • ¥ <---- Thats me lol asian fetish mmmmmmMmMmMMmmMmMm i get excited just thinking of all the asians in the Sox farm system lol

    TJ December 15, 2007, 11:12 pm
  • That’s a good one cranky. Actually, if you read my book (Spalding’s World Tour), there’s a reference in there to Fred Pfeffer, who responded to a batting slump in 1888 by smoking 4 cigars before each game. (His mother’s recommendation, actually.) You can imagine how that worked out.

    YF December 16, 2007, 10:34 am
  • Thanks YF I will check it out. I feel old because I can vaguely recall seeing players smoking in the dugout on TV. How the game has changed.

    Cranky Guy December 16, 2007, 11:52 am
  • Some nice additions over on Deadspin:

    YF December 16, 2007, 12:14 pm
  • ? = manny being manny

    Lyndsay December 16, 2007, 9:29 pm
  • Where’s the symbol for Dipper or Chewer?

    John - YF December 16, 2007, 9:58 pm
  • Should have signed my comment
    attackgerbil~X⇑ (drunk douchebag chronic masturbator)

    You masturbate drunk douchebags? But YF, douchebags don’t deserve to be masturbated!

    Atheose December 16, 2007, 11:11 pm
  • > Where’s the symbol for Dipper or Chewer?
    How about ڀ

    attackgerbil December 16, 2007, 11:54 pm
  • SF December 17, 2007, 8:51 am
  • I figured I was…
    so there’s no symbol for “Rage problem” yet? what about for the intangible skill known as “scrappiness”?

    Lyndsay December 17, 2007, 5:09 pm
  • ωώ = stripper 2nd wife

    Lyndsay December 17, 2007, 5:11 pm
  • Great post, greater comment thread. Def. had me at ! = amphetamines.

    Tom December 18, 2007, 10:03 am
  • You guys have it all bass ackwards. It’s all those NOT juicing whose numbers should be flagged. How dare they not sacrifice their health for our amusement?

    Rod December 21, 2007, 12:37 pm
  • Way to go Red Sox.

    DannoRecommends January 17, 2008, 3:07 pm
  • We walk to his bedroom and he places me carefully onto his bed and then pushes me up so that my head is on his pillows. sextube

    sextube December 3, 2008, 11:57 pm
  • perfect design thanks blk sluts cocking videos 181

    Cgsohpyq December 12, 2008, 10:31 am

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