Sunday: Opening night. 5 way tie in AL East. Randy Johnson throws gem. David Wells looks like 20 year old college student on Sunday morning after a hazing incident. Yankees fans start sizing rings.
Tuesday: Carl Pavano looks worth his overpriced contract. Mariano Rivera pitches like it’s late October. Captain Perfecto rescues Mo. Yankees fans ask for day off from work in October for Canyon of Heroes visit.
Wednesday: Red Sox appear headed for embarrassing sweep. Joe Torre calls on Mariano Rivera. Red Sox drool, avert sweep.
Friday – Toronto: Red Sox head to Great White North, endure Slash of Guns’n Roses performing both American and Canadian national anthems. Keith Foulke channels Mariano Rivera. Sox pull it out, scratch way back to .500.
Friday – New York: Jaret Wright makes Yankees debut, lasts 4+ innings. Yankees fans treat Wright like Mariano Rivera. A-Rod continues clutch hitting. 5 way tie in AL East.