This Week In Manny

What would a week be without some—any—discussion of Mr. Beantown, Manny Ramirez, and the rumors of his potential departure from the Hub. Latest speculation: a deal may be in the works to send Ramirez to the Angels for Ervin Santana, Chone Figgins, superprospect Brandon Wood, cash, a yacht, two Eames chairs, a tour of Jerome Bettis’s ancestral home in Detroit, and a magnum of Kosher wine for Theo to help ease the pain. We just don’t see it happening. Anyway, there are now 65,234 signatures at begging the Sox not to pull the trigger. Take, for example, Rob Mills (#62,112):

To keep Manny in Boston, I would take on Gabe Kapler in a UFC fight for charity. No, I’m serious. Call some people up and make this happen. As long as there is a trained physician at ringside to clean me up afterwards, I will literally fight Gabe Kapler in an official, 3 round, no rules, mixed-martial arts UFC fight. Manny, if that doesn’t show how much I love you, then I don’t know what will.

Make that call, Theo.

9 comments… add one
  • NO!
    The Red Sox obviously need Kapler to help defeat the Yankees in the UFC bout later this year against John’s squad!
    We don’t need him wasting his time with the normal fan, when he needs to save his energy for the bout against one of the Yankee outfielders!

    Brad February 4, 2006, 8:12 am
  • How hard is it to take down a guy with a ruptured Achilles?

    SF February 4, 2006, 8:32 am
  • Clearly he has superior upper body strength and speed, SF. Besides, how hard would it be for him to beat out JD in the cage? He could just attack him while he was telling Kay how great it is to finally be a true Yankee, and how great it is to do things the Yankee way, and how much he did to keep the Boston clubhouse together, and how that team did not want him because they only offered 40 million, or how hard his kids cried and he cried with them, but he’s happy to a real Yankee – wait did I already mention that one?
    Kapler just sneaks up on the idiot and the Yankee suckup artist (Kay, not JD – but the two are becoming equally as annoying to everyone with ears) and puts the smackdown!
    Johns theory is shot!

    Brad February 4, 2006, 9:36 am
  • Yes, Johnny is still acting like a Red Sox idiot, but a few games with Derek “No-Field” Jeter and Mr. Torre will fix that.

    john February 4, 2006, 11:27 pm
  • Yes, I agree. After a few games as a true Yankee with the other true Yankees, I’m sure Damon is going to just shut his mouth, stop doing the annoying interviews with the YES suckups, and completely change everything that makes him who he is. Because Derek said so. Yep, I can see it.

    Brad February 5, 2006, 8:25 am
  • I think we should encourage JD to keep up these annoying interviews. He is such an idiot & sounds like a fool with his delayed da da um’ comments. Did you hear him with David Lee Roth ????? Two Idiots!
    Johnny stop saying Sox fans respect you or please provide a website with a list of names. I do not know of any.
    Nice hair cut -NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    lee February 5, 2006, 9:08 am
  • “He is such an idiot & sounds like a fool with his delayed da da um’ comments.”
    Actually, I think one of the more impressive and admirable things about Damon (besides his obvious baseball skills) is the fact that he overcame a pretty bad stutter. Thus, his speaking is marked by that delay. But I guess a vast minority of Red Sox fans (jilted lovers) are too hurt to acknowledge anything positive about the man, and are content with cruel cheap shots about speech impediments and the like. I hope karma does its job, and Damon bats .330 next year, and does expecially well at Fenway against his former mates.

    Nick February 5, 2006, 9:20 am
  • Stuttering statements are no indication of stupidity. Stupid statements are.
    As an aside, I loved Damon, and wish him well off the field. On the field? Not so much. I assume that if he had migrated to the Sox from the Yanks you’d feel the same way, Nick.

    SF February 5, 2006, 9:43 am
  • John Flaherty’s name is not allowed to be uttered in my house. eg. This past December, the youngest of my seven sons seemed to baby talk a sound suspicously similar to “flaherty.” And now I have only 6 sons. My wife and I packed him and his favorite toy (an umbrella if you’d believe it) in a cardboard box and sent him down a creek. Here’s the uncanny thing: This baby looked a lot like a cross between Danny DeVito and a penguin. In other words, we had big plans for him. I’m talking circus freak plans. But he went and ruined it and had to seemingly say that traitor’s name. I wonder what will come of him.

    Nick February 5, 2006, 10:08 am

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