‘Ultimate Galactic Dragon Gyroball Pitch Power Explosion’

The Onion delivers, as usual.

7 comments… add one
  • I just read the headline and cracked up.

    Paul SF March 7, 2007, 2:26 pm
  • It reminds me of when Jimmy James on NewsRadio decided to have his english autobiography re-translated back into english from the Japanese translation.

    walein March 7, 2007, 3:08 pm
  • “If what we’ve heard is correct, then Matsuzaka indeed possesses a Power Level of well over 9,000,” said ESPN’s Peter Gammons, struggling to contain his excitement on Tuesday’s edition of Baseball Tonight. “Over 9,000! Which, of course, is only to be expected of the ballplayer whom sources say descended into the Underworld to spit in the flaming eye of the Lord of Hell and steal the secret power of the Onikaze, or ‘demon-storm’ pitch, which tails away nicely from both lefties and righties.”

    Paul SF March 7, 2007, 3:21 pm
  • That parody of Peter Gammons’ comments sound like the real Gammons.
    I love when Gammo gets all excited. He gets flustered like a giddy schoolgirl.

    Devil Rays' Fan March 7, 2007, 3:23 pm
  • Curt Schilling has started on his own blog. Oh God, I hope the Yankees don’t sign him after this offseason. Thanks to Peter A of Journal News for providing the link.

    BIl MD March 7, 2007, 4:35 pm
  • So the gyroball exists. Also, Sidd Finch was in the stands.
    (Even if it does not exist, the hysteria about this pitch can only help Matsuzaka get into batters’ heads.)

    Hudson March 7, 2007, 5:03 pm
  • I have the graphic from the article–dude with Boston cap throwing fireball toward screen and kanji with exclamation points below–as my desktop now.
    PS Very funny.

    Devine March 8, 2007, 1:13 pm

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