I am going to be a contrarian here. I think that in the aftermath of "Shove-gate", the Sox should not only cut Manny, but they should cut Cora and LFRS too, just because. That would almost make the idiocy of releasing Manny tolerable. But in the absence of Theo Epstein’s brain leaking out of his ear, I think baseball players should have incentive clauses in their contracts for NOT accosting front office and club employees. As our pediatrician advised us when potty-training our three year-old, "bribery works". I have some ideas that might be worth some extra spending-around money to these would-be role models.
- Every time a player makes a request for extra comp tickets and the traveling secretary says "that might be tough as we are only 7 minutes from game time" and the player doesn’t attempt to see if the traveling secretary can hold his breath for 76 seconds while his feet dangle 16" above the floor? Cha-ching! Dinner in Houston!
- If, when the post-game spread doesn’t include their favorite Fla-Vor-Ice, the HoF left fielder doesn’t bury the clubhouse attendants head in ice-cold water for well over two minutes and request that the clubhouse attendant "swim to Antarctica"? Cha-ching! Strippers!
- If, when your starting shortstop gets to the player’s lot and the back window of said starting shortstop’s Escalade has "this overpriced car has two years and twenty mill left on its lease" written into the dirt on the glass and the starting shortstop doesn’t forcibly make the parking lot guy look for a banana in his tailpipe? Cha-ching! You’ve been DFA’d! (we can dream, right?)
Clubhouse harmony (and a rookie shortstop) here we come!