Houston Astros free agent center fielder Carlos Beltran is seeking a 10-year contract, his agent told a television station on Thursday.
Other requests by Boras for Beltran’s next contract:
- every time Beltran comes to plate, song "Tush" by ZZ Top to be played. Live.
- each post-game spread to include privately catered meal for Beltran by Mario Batali.
- 2 billion dollars per year, with a trade clause that requires new team to pay Beltran 3 billion if he’s moved.
- sole producing credit on Carlos Beltran biopic, to star Freddie Prinze Jr. as the All-Star.
- incentive clause stipulating that Beltran receive $25K every time he arrives at the park within 4 hours of game time, and another $25K if he doesn’t sleep over in the locker room every night. Another $1.5M if Beltran hits better than .000.
- the immediate freezing over of hell.